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Breakups are extremely difficult, no matter how strong and independent you are. While there is certainly no easy way to get over an important relationship, there are a few things you can do to inspire yourself and make the mourning process that little bit gentler.

Below are 7 simple and practical ways you can help yourself get back on your feet after a tough breakup.

1. Set a mourning period (with an end date)

Experts recommend allowing yourself to feel sad for a set period of time, rather than trying to shut off your feelings altogether.

When you act as though nothing is wrong you deny yourself the opportunity to go through the necessary psychological mourning stages. On the other hand, mourning for longer than is necessary is also unhealthy, and you want to get up and start feeling better before you’ve wasted too much of your precious time.

A solution is to allow yourself time to feel sad but set an exact date for when this is going to end. Then allow yourself to feel sad for a few days without feeling guilty or angry at your feelings. It’s part of the process. Once your time is up, make a commitment to move into a positive mental state. You’ve had your time to mourn, and now it’s time to put your energy into picking yourself up and feeling better.

If you’ve allowed yourself to indulge your emotions you’ll also feel more ready to move on when the time comes.

2. Boost your brain’s production of feel-good chemicals

Mental tricks and emotional strength is one thing, but there are also a few physical ways to boost your feel-good hormones. Here is a list of easy ways to improve your mood – no positive thinking required.

– Eat well. Certain foods are proven to boost dopamine and serotonin levels. Some of the most powerful choices include bananas, walnuts, leafy greens, avocados, clams, cayenne peppers, apricots, green tea and oats. Stock up on healthy foods like these to get yourself on a natural high.

– Book yourself a massage. Skin, tissue and muscle stimulation sends a shower of endorphins and other feel-good chemicals into your bloodstream. It also lowers blood pressure and decreases levels of stress hormones over time.

– Do a form of exercise that gets your heart rate up. Everybody knows that blood pumping cardio triggers an endorphin release, but your body also secretes endocannabinoids; a naturally synthesised version of THC (the chemical present in marijuana). Experts say that after just 20 minutes of challenging exercise you should begin to feel the happy rush.

– Spend time with friends and family. The brain’s pleasure centres are stimulated by social interaction. If you don’t have friends and family close, try joining a club or society. Any social time with other human beings will do the trick.

– Get some sunshine. Sunlight increases serotonin production – try to expose your skin, especially the hands and stomach, to sunlight for 5 – 15 minutes. The larger area of skin you expose, the less time in the sun you need.

3. Indulge in some self-care

Self-care is the new buzzword in health circles, and for good reason. However, many of us find the idea of ‘self-care’ difficult to fathom.

A mental trick to help you conceptualise it is to think of treating yourself as you would a 7-year-old version of you: cook yourself healthy meals, take a nap when you’re tired, don’t be so critical of yourself and do the things that make you happy.

Set aside at least 1 hour a day to indulge in self-care – whatever that may mean for you – just make sure you have at least 1 hour solely dedicated to caring for yourself. Not only is this a good practice to introduce into your daily life, but psychologists say that those who perform self-care on a regular basis are less anxious and have lower levels of depression than those who do not.

4. Establish a routine

The brain likes routine and studies show that it produces feel-good chemicals when it’s completing a familiar behaviour pattern.

After a breakup, it’s really helpful to create a healthy routine that you stick to, even if it’s just for a few weeks. Any kind of structure causes people to feel more secure and has been shown to reduce feelings of stress and anxiety.

The easiest way to add structure to your day is to set your wake up time, meals times, exercise times and bedtime. Write them down, set alarms and make a real effort to stick to them for the first little while. Once your days have a set rhythm to them you’ll find you feel less anxious and stressed.

5. Set a goal

Human behavioural studies have found that individuals with a clear goal and purpose are happier than those without. Luckily, this doesn’t necessarily mean you have to find your ‘life-purpose’, you can get a great result simply by having and working toward a short-term goal.

Having a specific goal to strive for not only gives you a sense of purpose, it also helps you to keep your focus on moving forward, which is very helpful after a breakup.

Some examples include entering a race or sporting event, joining a course or booking a holiday to motivate you to get on top of all your work before you leave.

The secret is to start small (make sure it’s achievable), but make it difficult for yourself to back out. You help yourself commit by paying upfront, telling everyone about it or submitting your leave days before you’ve even booked the trip. Once you’ve added a bit of external pressure it becomes much easier to follow through.

6. Take up meditation

Practising meditation is scientifically proven to reduce stress and anxiety and improve overall sense of wellbeing. It also helps provide practitioners with the tools to alter their mindset – very useful for those going through a potentially depressing time.

Meditation has become very mainstream thanks to the popularity of yoga, so there are many classes and online aids available for absolute beginners. In fact, there are lots of simple and very accessible meditation techniques you can start with. A great beginners resource is http://videocourse.beginmeditating.com/.

Some additional proven benefits of meditation include improved memory, improved concentration, stronger immune system, decreased inflammation and improved ability to multitask.

7. Learn a new skill

When your brain is learning something completely new it triggers a series of positive chemical changes. What better time to empower yourself with a new skill than after a breakup?

You might want to learn to code, play a musical instrument or try challenging physical skill that requires a new type of coordination (such as dance or surfing).

Any activity that requires your brain to create a new set of neural pathways will help combat feelings of depression and anxiety.

Breakups are extremely difficult and if you’re going through one right now you have our heartfelt condolences. Hopefully the seven suggestions in this post will help you to feel inspired and start the healing process as soon as possible.